New Year, New Look

I really thought changing the design of my blog would take 30 minutes.  HA! 
But it's done and I'm happy with it.  Fresh, new, up to date. 

Hmmm.....Kind of my mindset for my life right now:

FRESH.....Cleaning out the cobwebs of negative thoughts.

NEW........Ushering new thoughts of how Jesus sees me.  Loved, worth dying for, precious.

UP TO DATE......Bringing my body, clothes, hair up to date.  Just because I'm 42 doesn't mean I have to stop caring how I look. 

Oh, The Things I Find

Today is the day I go through receipts, bills, and pay stubs to figure out where we are after the holiday craziness.  I know, Dave Ramsey would have a complete mental breakdown if he knew how we handle our household finances.  We are good stewards of God's money.  We just have our own way of stewarding.  Really.

So I open my top desk drawer.  (The one containing said receipts and bills.)  It was bursting forth with folded summaries of exchanged money.  So, I removed those and then noticed that this drawer had also somehow become the catch-all for things that didn't exactly have a designated resting place. 

I noticed that I kept repeating the same words as I pulled items one by one out of the bowels of the drawer:
"There's that....."
"That's where I put the...."
"I've been looking for this...."

And among the hidden treasures were:
-A checkbook to an account that has been closed for six months
-A crumpled piece of paper containing user names and passwords (I have since changed them all because I couldn't remember them)
-A sheet of two cent stamps sent to us by our realtor in 2006 after the postage stamp price increased and before the "Forever" stamp was invented.
-A piece of paper containing a user name and password Troy told me not to lose.  For the record, it's not lost-----anymore.

So now every one of these long forgotten items is on my desk.  (I'm reaching over them to type this post.)  Where shall they go?  Probably back in the drawer.  But at least now, I can look at this post and remember what's in there.  Kind of like a map.  See?  It's all good.....and apparently it's all in my top desk drawer.

Dinner Parties

Dinner party--just what the name implies:  a party involving a dinner.  I LOVE dinner parties.  I think it's because when I was young I thought dinner parties sounded so sophisticated.  It's also because a dinner party doesn't foster unrealistic expectations, such as:  Will I find someone to talk to?  Can I eat while standing, while balancing a glass of wine?  Will I be interesting or sit by myself in the corner?At a dinner party, the guest list is usually small, your seat is designated and you usually have someone to talk to. 

Troy and I hosted a dinner party tonight and invited three couples (one couple couldn't attend due to travel plans).  We had a wonderful time.  The conversation was delightful.  In fact, the conversation didn't lag once during the 4 hours we all sat around the dining room table.  We conversed about a wide variety of subjects ranging from the television show "Big Brother" to the faithfulness of Corrie Ten Boom.  From Alcoholics Anonymous to zippered sweaters.  The guests started making plans to leave at about 9:15 pm and we continued to visit until 10:30 pm.  LOVE!

Thanks Judy, Bill, Doug, and Willo for a wonderful evening.

It's Baaaaack

I thought I may have dodged it this season. Thought maybe all the snow we had been getting lately had helped to push it away. But, it's here.

The little black cloud has found its way to my personal space and has taken up residence. I felt it coming yesterday, but I took away some of it's power when I helped out a couple of friends. Doing for others always shrinks the darkness, never quite taking it away, but definitely making it a little less ominous.

In fact, this morning, I was doing great. I thought those little acts of kindness had disintegrated the cloud. I was happily wrapping and packing Christmas presents. I was determined to get them on their way today. After two trips to three different stores to finish up little things, my mood was still good. Tired, but good.

Then it hit me, blind sided me, actually. I was almost finished packing and decided to make sure that the newly opened Postnet down the street closed at 4:00 pm. If so, I still had an hour and a half to finish up. Well, my friends, Postnet closes at 2:00pm on Saturday. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! It was like one of those movie scenes where the character faces such a startling disappointment that they fall to their knees with their head thrown back screaming and the camera does a swift "back away" so that the last shot is a UFO picking up the sound of the distressed character screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Too much detail? Welcome to my mind.

Anyway, it was a free fall, down hill drop in disposition the rest of the day. I finally finished the gifts at about 3:00 pm, drove into town, paid an arm and a leg at the UPS Store to ship my day's work. And I still needed to come home to a filthy kitchen, four loads of laundry, and unmade dinner. That's enough to make a girl need two pair of big girl panties.

So, here I am....With the seasonal black cloud that sneaks up on me every fall and doesn't quite leave until March or April. Some days are better than others.  I'm usually able to "fake" my sunny demeanor during this time of year, but if you notice I'm not my usual smiley self, feel free to shake your fist at the little black cloud directly above my head.  Maybe you can scare it away.

And One V-e-r-y Tired Me

(Sing to the tune of "Twelve Days of Christmas")

After a Thanksgiving trip to Oklahoma,
These true things happened,really...

12 times of saying, "This tastes so good."
11 hugs (at least) from relatives
10 hours sitting around the dining room table, visiting
9 times laughing at Morgan's dog for barking at her reflection
7 meals a day
6 restless sleep nights (not my own bed)
5 Patti's Special BBQ sandwiches
4 hours of sleep in Wichita, Kansas
3 days of Troy being sick
2 minutes of fire alarm in a hotel in Salina, Kansas
And
1 V-e-r-y tired Me

That Time of the Year

I have been a little "blog quiet" lately. Just not inspired, I guess.

I almost wrote about snow the other day, but couldn't put into words what snow does to my senses. I feel this rush of anticipation before it snows and then as it's snowing, I feel very mellow. Once there's a nice layer of snow covering everything in sight, I just feel this exhilaration that I can't describe. I don't necessarily want to go outside and play in it, but I do love looking at it through the windows. Yes, I open every blind in the house when it snows. (Not so great on the gas bill, but good for my emotional state.) One of my favorite television characters ever is Lorelei Gilmore on the "Gilmore Girls". She said on several occasions that the first snowfall of the year was magical. I concur! She also said in one episode, "I smell snow!" Well, I can't smell it, but I FEEL it. Like some inner energy that vibrates erratically before a snowfall.

Well, now I've written that post about snow. I'll post another day about why this feeling snow gives me is essentially important during this time of the year.

Why I Love It

We're home and I can't fully express how that makes me feel. You know, calling this house that sits on Prescott Avenue my home. I love my house, but if I could wave a magic wand and wish it to another spot. It would be sitting on the mountainside overlooking Ouray.



I know you must be really tired of reading about my favorite place in the entire world. But I wanted to share some reasons why I love it so much...

Mouse's Chocolates and Coffee - My favorite coffee place. The coffee is very hot and if you bring in your own travel mug, you get to roll the dice for cool discounts and prizes. All the booths have gorgeous views and come equipped with a receptacle to plug in your computer while you munch away at one of their famous "scrap" cookies. The cookies are basically a sugar cookie with scraps left over from the candy making. AND they serve ice cream making it also my favorite dessert stop after dinner.



Rocking P Ranch - My favorite shopping place. Oleta and her daughter own the shop which is chock full of clothes, jewelry, home decor, and furniture. Oleta is a fire cracker and made Troy and I promise to come see her at the National Western Stock Show in Denver this January. She even wrote down the booth she would be in and told us if we didn't visit, she would be very disappointed.

The Outlaw - My favorite steak place. In the summer, the restaurant is filled with piano music and the savory smell of the grill. It basically pulls you in from the street with promises of frolicking fun and scrumptious food. And it doesn't disappoint. The atmosphere is a bit more calm in the fall when the majority of the patrons tend to be residents.



O'Brien's Pub - My favorite sports pub. Always crowded. Always friendly. Always good food. Their french fries are the best fries ever! Troy and I never miss a stop at O'Brien's Pub if only for just a large order of fries.



County Road 361 - My favorite view. Troy loves to drive up this county road that looks suspiciously like a jeep trail. The views are spectacular. Usually, we are enamoured by the water falls and bright green leaves of the newly budded aspen trees. This trip, the aspens had turned brilliant yellow with touches of neon coral shining through. LOVE!

Bon Ton Restaurant - A new favorite. This trip, we decided to try out some new restaurants. Bon Ton's serves Italian cuisine in the basement of the St. Elmo Hotel. Very cozy. The food was extremely tasty. We had cream of spinach soup that was so good, I wanted to lick the bowl but was concerned it might be frowned upon.

Ouray Brewery - Fun spot. The t-shirt on the wall said, "Ouray, Colorado...A drinking town with a tourist problem." this cozy eatery boasts dining on the flat top roof and bar "stools" that swing. The mac and cheese was a creamy delight. Next trip, I'm going to check our their "Adult Root beer Float".



Unfortunately, one of my favorite antique shops moved to a nearby town. I loved the unique items the owner sold as well as the Norah Jones music she always had playing in the background. We walked into the store only to see a different business. The new owner stated that several visitors have been disappointed that the business changed and that they couldn't get their Norah Jones fix.



Troy told me that if I could find him a job, we would move. Believe me, I tried. I told every shop owner that I was looking for a job for my husband. I'm sad to say that there is not much of a need for a facilities engineer in Ouray, Colorado. We are seriously planning to retire there. Until then, I'll have my once a year trip to get me by. Although, I think I might be able to score a decent job with the Tourism Board. What do you think?

Anticipation.....It's Making Me....CRAZY!

I really wonder about myself sometimes. Actually, I'm writing this post hoping that my counseling background will offer me a little self-help action.

We are leaving for Ouray, Colorado tomorrow morning. I started counting down the days about three weeks ago. We haven't been on an extended road trip in over a year, actually a year and five months (but who's counting). I have wished each morning for the last week that we were leaving that very day. I have made reservations for the dogs and the humans. Saturday, I stated in a very matter-of-fact tone, "We should just leave on Monday. I'm sure we could extend the reservations one more day." I was chomping at the bit, wishing away the hours, and praying that nothing would happen to ruin our trip. (Don't laugh, Luke ate a WHOLE BOTTLE of Leia's pain medicine last October which force us to cancel our trip.)

And here I am tonight. My heart is racing. I have lists, and lists, and lists running through my head of things I need to pack and do before we leave. The thought actually flashed through my mind that it would just be easier to stay home! WHAT?!?!

What is the matter with my psyche? I should be as giddy as a school girl on the last day of school, but I'm so overwhelmed I'm almost paralyzed!

Deep breath.

Okay, another deep breath.

And another.

It will be fine. If I forget something really important (like hairspray) we can always stop and get it. It wouldn't be the end of the world. Really. Everything is good. It will be fine.

Hey, guess what? In about 14 more hours and we will be on the road! Yippee!

And Then They Will Know...

I may finally do it this year. I may finally read through the whole bible in a year. It's inevitable that in December, near Christmas, I feel that urge, that need, to read the whole bible. I have read parts of the bible many, many times. I'm ashamed to say, there are parts of God's Word I have never read.

So January 1, 2011 I decided I was actually going to do it this year. Well, I have had days, weeks that I have not read the specified reading and then have spent weeks reading "two-a-days" to catch up only to become lazy and miss several days again.

I say all this to say that I'm reading Ezekiel right now. (According to the reading schedule I should be reading one of the minor prophet books right now, but I'm playing catch up AGAIN!) Two-a-days in Ezekiel. I wouldn't recommend it. I'm reading about eight chapters a day, which gets a little mind numbing. Please understand, I'm not studying as I'm reading. I just want to read through partly to say I have but also because I am learning so much about God even in the craziness of catch-up reading.

Over and over again in the book of Ezekiel, God says to the prophet, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says" followed by prophesy which history has proven did indeed happen. God tells Ezekiel that the reason the prophesy is being spoken AND the reason for Jerusalem's downfall is "then they will know that I am the Lord."

I thought about that as I walked the dogs today. I looked up at the beautiful clouds and the sun trying to peek through. I thought, "God didn't just want to prove who He was to those listening to Ezekiel. He is also talking to me." I have the privilege of seeing what Ezekiel did not see. God spoke these prophesies through Ezekiel so that we could look back on history and see that what the Sovereign Lord said came to pass so that I would know that He is the Lord my God.

And I have a personal relationship with THE Sovereign, All-Powerful God. Mind Boggling. Humbling. Amazing!

Saturdays, Part 2

I wrote a post in May about Saturdays and how sacred they are in this home of the Wilsons. It wasn't until last night that I remembered that Saturdays are sacred for an entirely different reason during the months of September, October, November, and December.

College Football.

These College Football Saturdays usually start with "College Gameday" on ESPN. Enjoyed with a side of peanut butter waffles, bacon, and coffee. The rest of the day is a blur of football, halftime shows, beer commercials, and meals interrupted by bathroom trips and chip/drink runs.

So, today was the first College Football Saturday of the season. The weather here in Castle Rock even knew to cool down so that Troy and I could enjoy the games in the recliner with our blankets covering our legs (as it should be). By enjoy, I mean that Troy intently watches the game as I look up from my book, my crocheting, or my lap top when I hear the crowd roar. Don't get me wrong, I do like watching the games, but I also like the guilt-free feeling of doing exactly what I want as long as I sit with Troy. (Today, I finished reading "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe".)

So, now the games I really wanted to watch are in full swing, so, let's end this first Saturday of the College Football Season with a bang and cheer for the team with the best uniforms! :)

The Garden Grows

Remember this?

Well, the strawberries were the first to make an appearance. Each day for about a month, I picked one or two tiny berries, froze them each in a mini muffin tray and then transferred them to a gallon size freezer bag. (Yes...high expectations.)Then they stopped producing and the plant started growing like CRAZY!




I've been closely monitoring two (count them...two) tomatoes as they grew from tiny green bulbs to smallish green orbs of possibility. I finally picked them today. Along with one decently sized strawberry.






And it looks like more tomatoes are on the way!

Where Else Would We Go?

Our ninth anniversary is fast approaching.

I have to make a side note. "Ninth" has always been a hard word for me to spell. Not that I have an easy time with any word. I'm the world's most horrible speller. But "ninth"....shouldn't it be
n-i-n-e-t-h? I mean it looks like the "i" would be pronounced as a short sound in "ninth" rather than a long sound. Oh well...back to the post.

We decided from the very first that our anniversary gift to each other would be to get away for a little outing to celebrate. Some of our most memorable "gifts" have been: glamorous nights out for dinner and theater in San Francisco, a trip to Monterey Bay, a week long vacation in Hawaii, and weekends in the mountains.

We agreed on a budget this year and the fun of planning our adventure began.

I love searching the internet for the best vacation to fit our interests and budget. I found a great deal on a cruise from Vancouver to LA, with a one day stop in San Francisco. But we needed passports.

(This happens quite often, so you will be happy to know we finally submitted our applications and the passports should be in our mailbox in four to six weeks.)

So the fantastic cruise deal was a no go.

I started the search again.

Our budget was impacted by the fact that we needed to board our four-legged, furry children while we were gone and, unfortunately, the kennel is not cheap.

Hmmm...budget minus boarding fees...relaxing time away in a wonderful hotel/resort in a beautiful setting, with a great downtown atmosphere for at least three days. Hmmm...

If you've followed my blog for any amount of time, you know where we are going. Yep, Ouray. I've gushed so many times about my adoration for this "Little Switzerland" village nestled in the San Juan Mountains. There's something about going to a place you love. We have a favorite stops in Ouray that we make every time we are there. Familiarity is comforting. It always feels like the mountains are welcoming me with open arms and then enveloping me with their beauty.

During one trip, while window shopping in Ouray, I took a bathroom break at the Beaumont Hotel and Spa. WOW! I was enthralled by the opulence. I'm not too proud to tell you that while "sitting on the throne", I pretended I was a guest of this grand palace on Main Street rather than a trespasser from the Best Western down the street.

I typed "Beaumont Hotel, Ouray, Colorado" into the search bar and started dreaming. My dreams came to fruition when I discovered that our budget allows for three nights in the "Skylight Grand Suite". Let the countdown begin!

Nine years...good and bad, thick and thin, sickness and health, richer and poorer.

The celebration of our wedding day is important to us. Even when the "poorer" years didn't allow us to get away for a few days, September 28th reminds us how blessed we are that God created this marriage.

I do not believe in "luck", but if I could change the words of one of my favorite songs by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat from "lucky" to "blessed", it would sum up my feelings for this wonderful man God gave me.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend.
Lucky to have been where I have been.
Lucky to be coming home again.

Lucky we're in love in every way.
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed.
Lucky to be coming home someday.

And to add my own verse...

Blessed by God in every single way.
Blessed we can celebrate our day
In a beautiful palace in Ouray.

:)

Empty

My house is empty.

So are my emotions.

Everyone left on Wednesday morning. Troy to work. Mom, Dad, Morgan, and Connor to Oklahoma. It's just me and my emptiness.

I haven't written until this point because I didn't know how I was feeling or what to say. At first I thought I was just bone-tired. We packed a lot into 4 weeks. Then when tears filled my eyes Wednesday night, I thought I was depressed. But I think I'm mostly just empty.

I keep thinking about little things that were a normal part of my day for the past month that are not here anymore:

Connor's footsteps coming up the stairs from his bedroom in the morning. And with sleep still in his eyes saying, "I'm bored."

Peeking in on Morgan at 1:00 in the afternoon to make sure she's still alive to see her lying in bed curled up with a Harry Potter book. (She read the whole series again while she was here.)

Connor playing Wii sports while I'm making dinner and hearing his little delighted voice saying, "I'm really good at this!"

Girl talks with Morgan as we drove from point A to point B. LOVE THOSE CAPTIVE MOMENTS!

Watching Connor take on "big boy" responsibilities like helping clean the table after dinner and ordering for himself at a restaurant.

Hearing Morgan learn to take a compliment gracefully.

No Spongebob, no YouTube references, no day trips to explore museums and amusement parks, no fun filled discussions at the dinner table.

Empty.

That's all.

In Honor of the Shuttle Missions

I wish I had the foresight to plan this, but it just happened this way.

We finally launched our model rockets on the very day the last shuttle mission launched. I had penciled it in on our Calendar of Events.

We were waiting for a break in the rain. We got it, a break...barely.


We launched the smaller rocket first...


And retrieved it...




Then we launched the larger one...


And lost it...

But still had a great night.

Calendar of Events

I tried. I really, really tried. But I just can't do it. I can't just let a day happen and plan events accordingly. When did this happen? When did I become the cruise director?

I admit it. I've always wanted to have vacations planned. Mostly because I wanted to pack everything I could into those limited days. But to have every day planned?
I think it started when I stopped working full time. I no longer had my day planned based on what needed to be completed by a deadline.

I started pondering this as I looked at the "Calendar of Events" for July attached to the refrigerator. It didn't just appear. I worked long and hard on it.

The obsessive compulsive part of me understands the Museum Mondays, Take-turns Tuesdays, Wacky Wednesdays, Thrifty Thursdays, Family Fridays, Special Night Saturdays, and Simple Sundays. The practical side of me knows that I need to have things planned so that I can find coupons and directions for the outing. And the rest of me loves the ability to look at the calendar and tell the ever-questioning seven year old boy what we have on the agenda for the next day.

So what's on the agenda for this Thrifty Thursday? The pool and the library.

Rockets And Red Glare

Rockets:
Our church announced that as part of our annual Independence Day Celebration picnic, we would also have a model rocket launch. Knowing that Connor is a typical seven year old boy who has a unique interest in all things scientific, I made a mental note to include him (with help from Uncle Troy) in this activity.
On Monday, I took advice from a hobby shop owner named Wolf, and bought a two rocket set. He assured me, the novice rocket builder, that the set was all inclusive.

Red Glare:
On Friday, Uncle Troy was sick, more seriously than I realized. (This sickness lasted all weekend.) I asked him to read the instructions on the rockets to insure we were ready to hit the ground running on Sunday. He read through the general instructions and said we were ready to go. After the picnic, we noticed that kids started lining up at the launch pad with their rockets ALREADY BUILT! So we hurriedly opened the packages and realized that in addition to the "all inclusive" kit we needed: super glue, masking tape, "recovery wadding", a craft knife, a ruler, and a pencil!
REALLY, WOLF?!?!

So, picture the scene: Connor is watching other kids launching rockets, questions about our progress running like a river from his mouth. Troy is trying as best he can to "McGyver" this contraption with supplies borrowed from the church office. I am TICKED because Wolf misled us and because I didn't think Troy was as prepared as he should have been.

We finally gave up on the construction and went home "Red Glaring" all the way.

Rockets, Part Two:
Today, Connor and I sat at the kitchen table with most of the extra supplies at hand and finished as much as we could of the rockets. We still have to buy "recovery wadding" at Hobby Lobby tomorrow.

For now all is well. Troy is finally feeling a little better (after a bout of severe dehydration). Connor is satisfied that we have two rockets (sans wadding) on the launching pad. And I am thrilled that life is better for both of my boys.

Launch pictures to follow...

Connor-isms

Connor is seven and keeps reminding us he's almost 8 (In October).

"Morgan was really sick when she was little. She's good at taking butt shots."

Connor went down to his bedroom and stayed longer than usual. He said Luke (our dog) was laying on his bed.
Connor: "I was talking to Luke."
Me: "What were you talking about?"
Connor, shrugging his shoulders: "I was just telling him about my life."

In Wal-mart doing grocery shopping:
Connor, singing: "Hot Pockets....I can't get that commercial song out of my head."
Me: "Well maybe you should sing something else to try to get it out."
Connor, singing: "Red Robin....Hey, that's the same tune!"

After watching us deposit checks at the ATM:
"That machine must be broken. It didn't give us any money!"

Me, after talking to my mom on the phone: "Your grandma just asked me if I was tired."
Connor: "Yeah, I think I wear Grandma out."

The Fine Line

Troy and I are thrilled...beyond thrilled, ecstatic.....to have a little-more-than-a-month long visit with Morgan and Connor. They are here now and will stay until the end of July/first of August.

The "love-them-to-pieces" side of me wants to spoil them with whatever they want since they will only be here for about a month. The "love-them-but-don't-want-to-establish-a-warped-since-of-Troy-and-Steph's-house-is-Disneyland" side of me wants to establish a routine and foster healthy habits that would be more in keeping with our house if they were to stay longer.

This struggle to walk that fine line clouded my mind all morning until I sat down for a quiet talk with my Savior. He formed my heart and knows it intimately. This morning, He sowed the seeds of peace in my brain. I know I will need the Living Water to douse these seeds on a daily basis, and He's promised to have the watering can handy. :)

I honestly don't know how those who don't know Jesus as their personal Savior do it!

Can't See the Bottom

It's very dark down there. I don't think the echo of a dropped rock could reach my expectant ear.

She's leaving today and the sadness in my core is too deep to explore.

Every fiber of my body wants to hold her hostage. At the very least, I want to tie an invisible cord around her waist that I can hold in my hand (and reel in when my concern for her gets too great).

She's always welcome in our house and holds permanent residence in my heart.

I love you, Cherokee. I hope to see you again VERY SOON!

God and the Go-Go Girl

My quiet time with God usually involves reading His word, praying, journaling, and reading other inspirational books. The only difference this week is that the prayer and journal time have been saturated with thoughts and petitions about my time with Cherokee.

I prayed at the beginning of the week that she would feel comfortable enough with me to share her feelings, fears, and dreams. God answered, "No problem". I prayed in the middle of the week that God would allow us to have shared moments that neither of us would forget for the rest of our lives. God must have chuckled and answered, "I can't wait to see your reaction!"

Wednesday night, Troy took Cherokee and me out to dinner. As we were finishing our dinner, Cherokee received a text from her sister, Morgan. (Morgan and Connor, Cherokee's siblings, were with my sister and her family in Branson, Missouri for a vacation while Cherokee was here with me.) Morgan said she was going to a Beatles cover band concert. Cherokee was a little envious because she really enjoys the Beatles and was actually the one who introduced Morgan to their music. When we returned home, I did research and found that a Beatles cover band named the Fab 4 was performing a free concert in the park the next night in Highlands Ranch, only about 25 minutes away!

Yesterday, Cherokee and I packed our lawn chairs, blanket, jackets, and snacks into the car and set out for a fun concert in the park. We had NO idea what was in store. We found a great spot and settled in for a night of "She Loves You" and "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".


That's when we spotted her.

She had to be at least fifty years old. She was wearing a white beret, white go-go boots, a blue open-weave fringed vest over a MUCH TOO SHORT white dress with a ruffle barely covering her backside. The outfit alone was an eye-catcher. She caught our attention immediately. Well, to be honest, she was hard to miss since she insisted on dancing (yes dancing) right in front of the speakers. Several people were nervously looking around at the crowd for confirmation that we were all witnessing the same sight.


Did I mention it was very windy?

Cherokee and I were giggling about the woman and the reaction she was receiving from the audience when "The Moment Only God Could Have Created" happened.

A huge gust of wind blew through at the same moment Go-Go Girl decided to twist. The ruffle covering her backside flipped up and exposed her white thong wedged between her sagging butt cheeks. The mooned audience in unison said, "Whoa!"

Both Cherokee and I immediately broke into the "ugly" laugh. You know the one. Your face is paralyzed into this open-mouthed smile as tears are spilling from your eyes and you can't catch your breath or make a sound. The kind of laugh that is medicine for the soul. The kind that makes you feel giddy and exhausted the rest of the night.

The kind you never forget.

The kind God planned for us to share.

Cherokee and I will still be talking about this moment for years to come. It's our exclusive shared memory.

GOD IS AWESOME!

Reconnection

Eighteen and a half years ago, I held a baby girl to my chest, smelled her newborn smell, and whispered, "I don't think I could ever love a child more than I do this one." I was fairly sure that even if I had my own children, this tiny baby girl would continue to hold a special, special place.

So many changes have happened since 1992. Another niece and two nephews were born. I married and moved away. Families formed. Others split. And some things have remained the same. I still have no children of my own. And Cherokee continues to hold a special, special place.

Make no mistake. I truly, deeply love my other niece and nephews. I just haven't spent as much time with them. Didn't hold them when they were only days old.

This special girl is visiting me in Colorado for the week. We haven't seen each other in years and are awkwardly making steps to transition our relationship from distant Adult/Child mutual admiration to Adult/Adult friendship. It hasn't been as hard as an adjustment as I thought it might.

I hope this is the last "reconnection" we have to make and can just continue to be "connected".

Good Day, Bad Day

It was/is a good day.

I woke up with the birds chirping outside. I spent some time outside enjoying the beautiful morning with the dogs. I took a walk through the canyon near my house. Just me and the ipod. I made my to do list and was able to check most everything off. I hung out at the pool listening to the giggling, squealing kids and talking to my friend, Jenni. I came home and took a nice cool shower. Troy was home early so we had dinner early (meaning the kitchen is clean before 7:00pm!) And now I'm sitting here at my computer, enjoying the cool breeze through my office window while Luke lays on the bed snoozing away. Good day.

It was a good day because I chose to enjoy this day God authored. Truth be told, I could have had a really bad day with the same circumstances. For example...

We don't have air conditioning so we leave our bedroom windows open and the stupid birds outside start making noise at 5:00am! I can't sleep with their incessant chirping. Troy left for work early, which meant I had to get his breakfast ready earlier than normal, which made the dogs go CRAZY thinking it was time for the 7:15 walk when in truth it was only 6:15. Why can't they just wait calmly? Finally, they wore me down at 7:00. We took our mandatory walk. Then I exercised. I hate exercising. But I have to at least make this mile trek 5 days a week to keep me from being a lazy, pitiful, blob. Now the to-do list. I really get tired of laundry and dishes, and vacuuming, and laundry and dishes, and dusting, and laundry and dishes. I don't want to do anything! Maybe I can muddle through a few things before I go to the pool. Bright spot in the day. Wow, these kids are noisy! I can't even hear what Jenni is saying! As I step into the shower, I notice my skin is burnt. Great, another night with "sand paper" sheets. Why can't I just tan without the hassle and pain of a burn? Darn this fair skin and blond hair. Troy's home. You want dinner when? Like in 30 minutes? Well, okay. Wasn't planning on eating that early. I'll be hungry again and eat something I shouldn't, but that's fine. The wind is coming through my window making me cold because of this darn burn. I really wish my dogs were better behaved and didn't lay on my furniture. What a horrible day!

Wow, just writing that made me realize how self serving and angry a negative attitude can be. So, the next time I choose to have such a self-serving, negative mindset, I think I'll mentally rewrite it so that this day that the Lord has made is full of rejoicing and gladness.

But You Will Tomorrow

[God] sends help at the hour we need it.

You don't have wisdom for tomorrow's problems. But you will tomorrow. You don't have resources for tomorrow's needs. But you will tomorrow. You don't have courage for tomorrow's challenges. But you will when tomorrow comes.

Max Lucado, Every Day Deserves a Chance

The Chair

Prescott Avenue is not a through street and is home to many kids who love to play outside. (I know, shocking, huh?) I see much of their activity outside my upstairs bedroom window.

I've been witness to a snowball fight of epic proportion complete with igloo forts on each side of the snow packed street. I've watched with delight as two boys had a "shoe kicking" contest. They stood side by side, balanced their untied sneakers on their toes and flung them down the street. Still makes me smile thinking about it. I've also marveled at their ingenuity as they split a bike and a pair of skates between four individuals: One peddling the bike, one riding on the handle bars, one wearing the left skate scooting along with the right foot, and yes, the last wearing the right skate scooting along with the left foot.

They're entertaining, these kids of Prescott Avenue.

Yesterday, I heard wheels on the pavement that I didn't recognize. Not a bike, not skates, not a scooter, not a skateboard. I couldn't figure it out, so I investigated. I saw a group of kids taking turns to ride in an office chair while being pushed or pulled down the street. Throughout the day, the chair served many different functions: a simple ride, a trailer behind a bicycle, a "boat" with a hockey stick oar navigating along the sidewalk, and the chariot of the commanding officer whose minions, all armed with enormous water guns, were pulling him down the street. I hurried to get my camera but missed that shot.

I tend to personify objects by imagining that they have feelings. I imagine that this common ordinary office chair had no idea what the future held as he sat on that plastic square in front of his desk day after day. Maybe he dreamed of being an amusement ride, a trailer, a boat, a chariot, or maybe even a simple toy cart. And I know I let my imagination run wild, but I really can almost hear him screaming, "WHEE!"

Saturdays

There is something sacred about Saturdays in our house. It's the one day of the week we are allowed to sleep in. I don't "sleep in" as a rule. But I like that on Saturday morning it's allowed if I ever decide to take advantage.

Typically, both Troy and I start our sacred Saturday morning with breakfast and quiet time. Then we talk about the "agenda" for the day, which usually involves some house or yard work that has been neglected for too long.

We then work together on the tasks at hand. (With the occasional break to run to Home Depot. Because what is a Saturday of yard work or house maintenance without a run to the Depot?)

Saturday evenings are spent basking in the satisfaction of a productive, yet restful day.

I know this sounds a bit idealistic. And I admit, there are more than a handful of Saturday nights we go to bed either feeling very lazy for having done nothing productive or feeling frustrated because the day didn't measure up to the promise.

But all in all, Saturdays are good days. Sacred.

Nosey Neighbor

As I write, I sit at my desk in my office. To my right is a window that looks over my backyard and onto Bentley Street. I can see all the west-facing houses along Bentley down to the intersection of Bentley and Wagonwheel Trail.

I know some of our neighbors on Bentley street. Not all. I know things about all because you learn a lot when you walk your dogs by some one's house everyday.

On the corner of Bentley and Wagonwheel is a newly-painted blue house whose residents raise their grandchildren. They have a few small dogs who sometimes play in the backyard and are reprimanded when they bark as we walk by. I know their grandchildren live with them because one day the man from the blue house apologized that his dogs were barking. He had let them out before "taking my grandchildren to school" and let them stay out until he returned.

The next house on Bentley is the home of a loud foul-mouthed man who apparently doesn't like to work in the yard. That's all I know about that house.

The next house is owned by an older couple who take care of their grandson during the day. Each day at about 7:45, their son drops the grandchild off and leaves for work. During the summer, I see the child outside with his grandparents. The welcome sign on the door changes to represent each month. It's lovely.

We know the couple in the next house. Jim and Debbie. Jim is an accountant who has a vast collection of tie-dyed t-shirts. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen him wear anything else. Debbie works in the yard alot and was very gracious last year when I had to come to her door and confess that Luke had trampled down one of the beautiful flowers by her mailbox before I could gain control of him.

On the corner of Bentley and Prescott is the "house-of-the-revolving-door". Since we've been here, there have been four renters live there. The present tenants and I have a sordid past. They moved from a condo I walk by every day. Twice in a two week period, I almost had a heart attack when I saw their unleashed pit bull dog walking toward my very protective, new-to-me dogs as I walked by their condo. The second time, I said in the nicest voice I could muster, "Please keep your dog in the house or on a leash." I really do think their dog is a very nice, well-mannered dog. Unfortunately mine weren't nice or well-mannered. It could have been nasty. So I always felt a little uneasy and awkward when I would see them outside after that. Now they live right across the street.

This post is so not relevant at all to anything, really. Maybe it's a lesson to me that even though I don't know a lot of people in my neighborhood, they probably have an impression of me. I'm probably known as the crazy, dog lady. The one who still hasn't trained her dogs to walk beside her on a leash. Half the time she is dragging them from one "smell-good" place to the next and the other half she is being pulled along at break-neck speed. And you know what? Their assumptions are true.

Falling Down on the Job

Well, I did it again. Was going to to write a post every night, but days slipped by and I didn't do it. I have good excuses though. Really.

1. I've been sick. Not scary sick. Just sick enough to make me want to climb into bed with the cover over my head at about 8:00pm.

2. Troy has been sick. He's a guy. Enough said.

3. I'm preparing for a house full of kids this summer.

My niece, Cherokee (who is graduated from high school tonight, by the way), is coming to Castle Rock for a week long visit in mid June. I'm so excited! Then a week after that, she is coming back with her brother and sister for the rest of the summer. Talk about a change in our family routine!

Those are my excuses. Lame, but true.

I'll Have a Little Coffee With My Cream and Sugar

Those of you who know me, know that the title of this post is one of my favorite sayings.

It's also very true.

So, it's not going to surprise you that I HAVE to share a recipe I found last week and tried today. It's for Homemade Coffee Creamer and it's DELISH!! And not too hard to make, which honestly is why I tried it.

I made the Chocolate Almond Creamer but used 1/2 teaspoon coconut extract and 1/2 teaspoon of almond extract instead of the 1 teaspoon of almond extract. This made an "Almond Joy" Creamer. Cause....sometimes you feel like a nut. ;) I also substituted Splenda for the sugar.

I like the fact that this homemade recipe is cheaper than my usual creamer AND I know what's in it.

Dad's Heart

My first memory of my dad is sitting next to him (without a seatbelt) in an old farm truck solving basic math problems he was asking me. I remember looking at his hands on the steering wheel and stick shift. I also remember thinking it would be cool to be married to someone like him someday. (And just to make Freud happy, I remember thinking, "If I sit up really tall and act older, maybe people will think I'm his wife and not his daughter.") Oh the thoughts of a six year old.

Tomorrow, my dad goes under the care of a heart specialist. He is getting his heartbeat shocked back into rhythm. I'm so happy that when it's all over, he will feel much better than he has the past few months. His irregular heartbeat and medicine to prevent a blood clot has made him feel much older than his 61 years. But I've been informed that they have to stop my dad's heart before shocking it.

That unnerves me a little.

Does the surgeon in charge of this procedure understand who Ronnie Benefield is? That he's the brother his 11 siblings go to in time of need? That he's the high school sweetheart and true love of my mother for over 40 years? That he's the man I trusted to be there even when I didn't act like I cared? That I need him to hug and kiss me when he arrives for a visit and before he leaves to return home?

Do they know?

God knows.... God knows... God knows.

Growing A....Marriage

I wanted to grow a garden.
But was skeptical about my ability to follow through.

I shared my thoughts about growing a garden.
Troy was skeptical. But said nothing negative.

I decided to grow a garden.
A container garden of tomatoes, bell peppers, and strawberries.

I made my decision to grow a container garden known.
Troy was thrilled not to have to rent and operate a tiller.

I wanted to grow a garden.
Troy gladly helped me create a special garden...complete with squirrel protection.









I LOVE THAT MAN!

Hypothetical Advice

If you ever find your debit card in the dryer, stuck under one of the tumbler fins, all bent out of shape, I have the solution. Turn it over and stick it under the fin the opposite way and run another load of clothes in the dryer. I suggest that you take it out as soon as the dryer stops. It's still warm and can be easily straightened if there is still a need. The dryer cycles do not affect the magnetic strip.

This, of course, is a hypothetical situation and has never happened to my debit card. Never.

More Than Love

I DVR'd the episode of Oprah which featured the President and First Lady. For the most part, I enjoy listening to first ladies. It takes a special woman to share her husband's time with the world. I usually perk my ears to hear what the First Lady has to say.

Today as I readied myself for work, I played the episode. I listened while putting on make-up, doing my hair, and getting dressed. But one question made me stop my ritual and watch the response of the interviewees.

"What do you know for sure about marriage?"

Michelle Obama answered, "You have to like and respect the person you're married to...That's what I tell a lot of young couples. Don't expect it to be easy. Melding two lives and trying to raise others, and doing it forever is a recipe made for disaster...I think you go through that wonderful love stage, but when it gets hard, you need a little bit more."

I agree.... for the most part.

I do think that relying on that "love" feeling to stay married is a slippery slope. You DO need more. Even though I think "like and respect" are very important, I think a mindset of commitment and a personal relationship with God are the "more".

The first six months of our marriage were the hardest six months I've ever lived through. I had moved from rural Oklahoma to the San Francisco Bay area. Culture Shock! I had, in three short months, met and married Troy. I admit, during those months the thought of catching the next flight home crossed my mind too many times. But I kept thinking about the fact that I had made a vow before God and Troy to love, honor, and cherish until death parted us. I was committed. Still am. Always will be.

God didn't give up on me when I disappointed Him or didn't meet His expectations. That unconditional love reminds me every day how to love Troy. And how to like him.

Yes, I agree with you Michelle. When it gets hard, you need a little bit more.

Full Circle

I'm one of those...you know the ones...those who believe the fairy tale.

I dreamed one day my prince would come. I sang along with Snow White, danced along with Cinderella, even dreamed alongside Belle.

It was four o'clock in the morning on July 29, 1981 and the Oklahoma air was already hot and humid. This eleven year old country girl sat with wide eyes as close as she could to the television screen. The volume was turned down very low so that she wouldn't wake the rest of the family in that small farm house. I was watching a fairy tale coming true.

Or so I thought.

Unfortunately, that prince and beautiful princess did not live happily ever after.

Although I had not planned on being awake at two o'clock this morning, I awoke at two-thirty and decided that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see the eldest son of that beautiful princess marry his own princess.

This morning the Colorado air was crisp and chilled. This forty-one year old married woman sat in her recliner in front of a huge high definition flat screen. The volume was audible. My eyes were more cynical and suspect about the prospect of this fairy-tale-happily-ever-after wedding.

But then it happened, Kate stepped onto the red carpet of Westminster Abbey. She looked every bit the princess. Her wedding dress regal, elegant. Her train carried by her doting sister. The joyous chords of organ music echoed in the stately cathedral. I leaned forward and became a little girl on the brink of womanhood, wide eyed and in awe of this beautiful woman on her way to marry Prince Charming.

Thank you William and Kate for reminding me that I still believe in fairy tales.

Mind Overload

I've had a lot on my mind lately and I didn't even know it. I suspected that my mind was almost to its maximum load when I couldn't find my cell phone yesterday after searching the house twice. (Yes, I did look in the fridge AND the freezer.) We don't have a home phone anymore so I couldn't just call it and hunt down the ringer. I finally just gave up and went to work.

It became pretty clear my mind had reached the maximum when Troy finally found my phone in HIS closet in a shirt pocket. As soon as he pulled it out of the pocket, the scene came flashing back to me....I had ironed shirts and started to carry them upstairs with several other items and thought the shirt pocket would be a convenient way to carry my phone.

This afternoon, it was glaringly obvious that I am definitely on overload. I was shaving my legs with my right hand, reached down with my left hand to make sure I hadn't missed a spot and shaved my index finger nail down to the quick! Thankfully, I just caught the nail. This was definitely a case of the right hand not knowing what the left was doing! Really?

I don't know what's been filling my mind. No major problems. Plenty of rest. But I have asked God to take whatever is taking up so much space so that I can function without hurting myself.

How Great Thou Art!

I just watched a clip of Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill singing "How Great Thou Art".

It made me have goosebumps, a lump in my throat, the urge to burst out in tears and joyous laughter all at the same time.

The video is from "Girls Night Out", a special which aired on CBS last night. The audience was a gathering of the stars of country music. As Carrie sang the last chorus, the audience rose with a standing ovation.

I think we are "built" with this desire to praise God and we allow life, circumstances, and our own selves to numb that desire. Although I'm sure the standing ovation was in part due to the talent on the stage, I chose, as I watched through tear filled eyes, to believe that this applause was for God. Even if the audience meant it for Vince and Carrie, ultimately, it's for God, their creator.

And for your viewing pleasure....

"How Great Thou Art" performed by Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill.

Tip

Bad service makes a yummy dinner not such a yummy experience.
Just had to say it.

Homework

Troy and I are in marriage counseling. Don't worry. Nothing wrong. In fact, our marriage has never been better. I truly believe that each and every marriage needs a little "tune up" now and then. We actually are working on some issues, but nothing I really want the blogging world to know about right now.

So, as I said, we are seeing Steven, the counselor, who gives us homework each time we leave. This homework usually consists of something that was discussed during the session. Our appointment is tomorrow and, true to form, we hadn't done our homework. Our assignment was this: find healthy alternatives to combat the stress in our lives. Pretty general, huh? So, tonight, as Troy was cutting the dog hair from the wheel in the vacuum cleaner, we talked about our homework. And talked. And talked. And talked.

I really don't know that we completed our homework. But I do know that we spent about an hour sharing our fears, hopes, and dreams. And I do know that this hour of sharing reduced any pent up stress I might have had.

Steven is pretty smart. I actually think the purpose of the homework was less about the end result as it was about the process.

Productivity

My post was going to be about how productive I was today. I didn't do any laundry. No dishes. No vacuuming. Didn't scrub one toilet. But I really felt good about the productivity of my day. Then I started wondering what productivity really meant. So, I looked it up.

Productivity: a measure relating a quantity of quality of output to the inputs required to produce it.

So, it's basically a ratio of output to input.
Yep, still feel productive.

Input: Quiet time with my Savior.
Output: Love, guidance, comfort, healing, super-natural transformation.

Input: Trip to Colorado Springs and lunch with a new friend.
Output: Bond-forming, life-sharing, moment-treasuring friendship.

Input: Short texts and conversations with my husband throughout the day.
Output: Connecting, loving, never-far-from-my-mind moments that keep us...US.

Input: Relaxing and writing this post.
Output: Counting my daily blessings. Reliving this God-kissed day. Thanking Him for it all.

Yep, VERY productive.

Bedtime for the Wilsons

Not a restful night last night.

Troy took Friday and today off work for a much needed time of rest. His type of rest is reading, playing on the computer, staying up late, and waking up late.

I'm not "off work". I only work part time outside our home, but I still have to get up at 6am to give our beloved Leia her allergy medicine. (I saw that eye roll!) Yes, our girl who walks with a limp also has major spring allergies. Anyway, medicine every eight hours is unforgiving to the "mom".

I'm one of those people that can rarely go back to sleep after the alarm rings. So, alarm at 6am, up at 6am and 30 seconds. Then the dogs are walked at 7:15am. Precisely at 7:15am because that's when the high school students are picked up from the corner by the school bus. This time is also before the middle school students make their slow walk to the bus stop. The kids don't bother my dogs. My dogs bother the kids. According to my dogs, I should be deathly afraid of any person walking along with white cords hanging from their ears, looking down and pushing buttons on a small rectangular objects. No telling what could be in those backpacks! :)

I say all this to say. I don't usually have the luxury of sleeping in. (And probably wouldn't take advantage of it if I did.) So last night, at 12:30am, I called in from the bedroom to Troy in his office to ask him if he was coming to bed soon. "Yeah," he replied. I asked because I knew that if I went to sleep and then was awoken by him as he came to bed, I would have much trouble going back to sleep. A sign that I'm going through "the change". Sleep is sacred and often disrupted by night sweats and racing thoughts.

"Within the next few minutes?" I asked, hopefully.
"Yeah," non-committed.

I put down my book turned off my lamp and decided to talk to God until Troy came to bed.

ONE HOUR LATER....

Troy climbs into bed. I wake up. I'm awake. I'm hot. I'm cold. Troy starts to snore. Still awake. Look at the clock. I've lain awake for 30 minutes. Troy is cluelessly snoring. Now, I'm mad. So, I get up and take my pillow to the guest bedroom. Toss and turn. Restless, weird dreams. Wake up. Hot. Cold. Hot. Take my pillow back to our room. Get into bed.

"You okay?" Troy asks.
"Not sleeping well."
"Sorry." Troy slurs, then resumes snoring.

Finally fall to sleep after 3:38am. Alarm rings at 6am.

I really, really wish Eve had just plugged her ears, started singing, "La, La, La", and ran as fast as she could from that conniving serpent. I'm positive the whole change of life, night sweats, hot flashes, and crazy moods could have been avoided if a better decision had been made.

But on the brighter side, I'm really, really glad God blessed me with a marriage to a husband who understands this crazy time of my life and encourages me to take afternoon naps to make up for the lost sleep after dark.

And tonight I've already requested that we BOTH go to bed before 10:00pm. ;)

Note Worthy?

I don't write that many posts. I always feel like I don't have much to write about. But I really, really enjoy writing when I write. So, I'm going to start strengthening my writing muscles. I'm going to pick one thing in my uber-eventful day(insert sarcastic chuckle) to write about. Starting tomorrow. :)

Well, I would start with today, but it was a basic Sunday. Nothing much happened. Really. Church, lunch, laze around the house, watch Amazing Race, hang out on the computer for a bit. See? What part of this lackluster day is worth writing about? I did make a pretty good dinner. A dish called "Vegetable Cheese Crescent Ring". It was pretty. And I thought it tasted good. Troy didn't care for it. (Although I did see him sneak a second helping.) Oh! I did get a huge compliment from my friend, Nancy, who was sure that the person that made the Challah bread for our women's bible study luncheon actually bought it from the bakery. Well, that person didn't buy it from the bakery, because that person was ME! I made it! I still have the flour in the kitchen floor air vent to prove it! (Don't ask.)

But that's about it. Not really much going on in the Wilson house. Really.

Run, Elijah, Run!

I've been reading through the Old Testament during my quiet time and just finished First Kings. This morning, I read about Elijah. Not Elisha, Elijah. I know, I used to get them mixed up too. But now I remember that they are in alphabetical order. ;) So I was reading about Elijah and his encounter with the prophets of Baal on the Mount Carmel...mmm caramel....Anyway, (This is what happens to my brain in quiet time, too. Sometimes I can almost hear the finger snaps of God bringing my attention back to Him and His word.)

As I was saying, Elijah challenged the Baal prophets to call down fire from Baal to burn their sacrifice. The Baal prophets "called on the name of Baal" all morning long with no response...(duh)...Then they jumped up and did a little dance around the alter. Not really sure what that was supposed to do besides make Elijah chuckle a little. Then Elijah told them maybe they needed to be louder because Baal, being a god and all, might be deep in thought, or maybe he was busy, or maybe sleeping. My NLT translation actually said, "Maybe he is relieving himself"....which made me laugh out loud. (Sometimes my quiet time isn't so quiet.) The Baal prophets continued this nonsense until evening.

Finally, Elijah had seen, heard, and mocked enough. It was time for the evening sacrifice and he asked the people who undoubtedly had gathered around watching the spectacle to poor a huge amount of water on his sacrificial alter. I think Elijah might have been so excited to show the crowd what the one and only Living God could do. I'm surprised he waited as long as he did. The pow-wow dance would have ended the Baal show for me. With the alter dripping in water, Elijah said, "LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at your word." Then fire from heaven came down and not only consumed the sacrifice, but also left the stones as dust and dried up all the water! Wow!

After witnessing this challenge, King Ahab began his chariot ride back home to Jezreel. The very next verse says "Then the hand of the LORD came upon Elijah and he girded up his loins and ran ahead of Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel." I can just picture Elijah watching Ahab turn his royal chariot toward Jezreel, urging his trusty steed to start the journey. And for reasons we will not know this side of heaven, the LORD gave Elijah the ability to run faster than Forrest Gump! (Okay, I had to stop there and laugh at the picture in my brain of Ahab trotting along and then hearing sandals hitting the ground hard and fast, turning to see a blur of the loin-girded Elijah streaking by with a trail of dust behind him.) Isn't that funny?! I honestly think God laughs with us when we enjoy reading his book.

Elijah had his mountain top highs and his mountain top lows, his "Look what God can do" experiences and his "Poor pitiful me" dark times. I think Elijah was a man who may have been a little manic-depressive. And I'm so glad God used Elijah's strengths AND weaknesses to His glory. I too experience those poor-pitiful-sit-under-the-broom-tree-and-dwell-on-my-sadness dark days. But seeing Elijah basking in God's glory gives me hope that I'll be in the right place (in God's presence)at the right time (in God's perfect timing) to see God's mighty power at work. You never know, maybe God will see a need someday to have me gird my loins and run like the wind! ;)

Love the Possibility

Contentment. I have a love/hate relationship with that word. It's been a life-long struggle. At 3 years old, I distinctly remember seeing the tiny sibling bundle presented to me and thinking, "I didn't want that. I like being the sole object of your parental affection." And then another sibling came along 15 months later. And my parents did not name her my clearly superior name of Liza Jane.

I remember at the age of 6, staring down the dirt road in front of our house. My mind was abuzz with the possibilities of traveling all the way down that road until I found pavement and then taking that "Yellow Brick Road" wherever it led. This feeling of wunderlust followed me through college (even after I knew where the black top ended.)

Unfortunately, as a child, I didn't fully appreciate the sibling relationships. My brother and sister were good friends to each other. I was just the "older sister". I didn't cherish those years growing up in a home where I felt loved, protected, and encouraged to follow that dirt road because I was always looking for the next thing.

I fear that I'm doing the same thing now. God has blessed me with a husband who respects, loves, and adores me. I live in a house much too big for two people. I work outside this home only as much as I want to. I have family members who tell everyone about their daughter/sister/grandaughter/neice who lives "like a princess" in a huge house in Colorado.

And what am I doing tonight?

Sulking. Because we don't have extra money to totally remodel and redecorate our house. Pouting. Because Troy is not interested in going to an art class with me. Frowning. Because I watched a program about Disney World and have never visited the happiest place on earth. Sighing. Because I have dishes downstairs that are only going to clean themselves if I put them on the racks of the dishwasher.

Feeling Disgusted at Myself. Because God keeps pouring out his blessings on me and I keep saying, "Got anything better?"

Contentment. Love the possibility, hate the reality.

Thanks for listening. Check's in the mail. :)

That's Smart

The website just read, "Congratulations, Stephanie! You are now following Life On Prescott Avenue." Really? I was trying to follow "Patti's Corner". And by the way, Life on Prescott Avenue is MY blog! How did I request to follow my own blog? Well, that's smart!

Here are some other "smart" things I've done recently:

-I opened the drawer and threw the potholder inside....THE FREEZER DRAWER! Found it the next morning....very cold. Hmmm, maybe that's where I should store the whole potholder family?

-I backed out of the garage on my way to work, realized I forgot my travel cup on the entertainment center, pulled back into the garage, went inside, retrieved the drink, back outside, realized my hands were so dry they were hurting as I opened the car door, went back inside to grab the hand lotion, back to the car, sit down, "Where is my drink?", back inside, pick up the drink from the end table where my lotion was sitting, back outside. Finally, off to work...where is my phone?...too late to look for it...thought I had it in my hand when I first sat down..(found my phone later in the cup holder, next to my travel mug)....really?

-My cell phone is our main phone, so when listing a main number, I list my cell number. A while ago, someone called to talk to Troy, instead of saying the usual, "Okay, sure, let me get him." I said, "Sure, may I put you on hold?" What was that all about? I haven't had to say that line in over a year. I started laughing and said, "I mean...hold on, I'll get him."

The Gift of the Holy Spirit

My sister-in-law, Robin, gives great gifts. For Christmas, tucked into the package of goodies was this:



It's a squishy, pink, bundle of tactile delight. And when squeezed or shaken, it lights up with flashing red and blue lights! I played with it for a LONG time. (Much longer than is proper for a 41 year old living outside the confines of a padded room.) Finally at the end of the night, I put it on the mantle right next to the Nativity set. Troy saw it's placement and gave me a weird eyebrow-lifted look. I picked up the toy, shook it to make it glimmer, laid it back on the shelf and said, "It's the Holy Spirit."

The Christmas decorations, along with the nativity set, have all been packed away until next year. The "Holy Spirit" ball found a permanent home in my office. Every moment I'm in my office, I feel drawn to this toy. I squeeze it, pass it back and forth from right to left hands, and enjoy the sensory experience as I have my morning laptop routine. It's calming.

I still call it the Holy Spirit Ball. I don't mean this with any irreverence. In fact, it's made me think a lot about the gift of the Holy Spirit and what He means to me. I've always been intrigued with this Spirit of God living inside me since I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I often take God's Spirit for granted and go about my daily life. But recently, I have been very aware of His presence.

December 30, 2010, Troy and I attended the memorial service of Robb Williford. Robb was the husband of my friend, Tricia. Robb was only 35 years old when he died tragically, two days before Christmas. But in that short 35 years, the Holy Spirit shined in his life. His memorial service was a testament to his character as a devoted father, loving husband, loyal employee, honorable son, and most of all, an amazing Christian man. As his family, friends, and young widow spoke about him, the Holy Spirit draped both Troy and me in a blanket of comfort and inspiration. As the service ended, the Spirit used this mountain-top opportunity to begin a new work in me.

Instead of eager anticipation for the new year, I tend to dread the idea of making resolutions and failing to follow through. This year, I am praying to reacquaint myself with and learn to display this supernatural Spirit within me. And with His influence, there is no failure, only huge learning curves.

I pray that I never take this gift God has given me for granted. I pray that I always rely on this indwelling Spirit to guide me through the day to day obstacles of this sinful world. And I pray that when the pressures of life squeeze and shake me that I allow the Spirit to glimmer and shine through.

Where There's Smoke

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. You know these faithful three as Daniel's com padres in the book of Daniel. The ones who refused to bow to a 90 foot golden image. The ones bound and thrown into a fiery furnace. The ones who walked with Jesus through the flames. The ones who came out of that furnace without a singe. Not even smelling like smoke.

Through events authored and organized by God, I was invited to a small women's group to view a DVD in which Beth Moore taught from Daniel chapters 2 and 3. The conviction I felt when watching that television screen caused my toes to curl. Really, I was trying to keep them from being stepped on. Over and over again.

Beth pointed out two things that spoke to my heart. First, these three men refused to bow to an image and refused to worship the Babylonian gods. She pointed out that often, when we feel God is not following through, we bow to the gods of self-pity, bitterness, and unbelief. Second, these three men came through that fiery furnace and didn't even smell of smoke. She used the example of someone who has been brought by God through a trial, but is still bitter about the trial. That person still "smells like smoke" because they exude the hardship through every pore.

I confess, when I dwell on the fact that God has not blessed Troy and I with children, I have bowed to the gods of self-pity, bitterness, and unbelief. Many, many times. And when I finally drag myself off the ground and look up, God is still there, with open arms. Ready to accept my anger, hurt, rejection, and finally my tearful plea for forgiveness.

I have also been guilty of "smelling like smoke". One of the first things people learn about me is that I don't have children. I immediately label myself as the poor, barren, unfulfilled wife. Do you smell something? I do. I think I can even see the wispy swirls of gray still rising from my heart.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego told King Nebuchadnezzar that even if God did not deliver them from the furnace, they would still worship only Him. Wow! So, with God's help, I resolve not to bow to those gods I have harbored in my heart for way too long. I will ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit rather than seek that elusive fulfillment of motherhood. God may never bless me with children. But I will still worship Him only.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."
Psalm 30:11-12

Rejoicing and Being Glad

I kept wishing I would wake up from this horribly frustrating dream. But I was awake. I started the day yesterday feeling run down from a lingering head cold. I tried to work out, but was only able to complete about a quarter of it. I rushed around the house getting ready for women's bible study worrying the whole time about the icy roads leading to the church. I jumped in the car and couldn't find my car key. Running late, I emptied everything out of my purse onto the passenger's seat and spied my valet key on top of the pile. Oh well, I would just use it. I'd done that in the past (many times). I drove with much caution to the church and arrived only five minutes late. The head-cold-induced fog followed me all morning long. I left the bible study at noon determined to come home and take a little nap before my afternoon stint at Sylvan.

As I drove up to my garage door, I realized it hadn't opened when I pushed the remote button. I pushed again. The door made a slight jolt, but did not "open sesame". Push. Jolt. Push. Jolt. Hmmm. And I don't have a key to the front or back doors. Hmmm. Push. Jolt. And I really, really, really need to pee. PUSH! JOLT! Maybe I left the backdoor unlocked when I let the dogs out this morning. It would be par for the course. I mean I've lost my house key; I've lost my car key; the front passenger seat of my car is buried in junk from my purse and the glove compartment in an attempt to find said keys. I trudged through the snow to the back door only to find that in one moment of responsibility, I had locked the back door. OF COURSE!!!! Would anyone see me if I squatted right here and made my own yellow snow?

I called Troy hoping against hope that he knew some magical formula for opening a broken garage door. Yes, honey, I already tried the wall mount key pad. No, honey, I didn't leave the back door open as I've been prone to do on more than one occasion. He had nothing.

I called my friend, Jenni, to see if she had a spare key. No, she had given it back to me. GREAT! That's at least 2 house keys I have now misplaced. Thankfully she lives less than a mile away and I was able to go to her house to relieve my bladder and eat lunch before leaving for work. Thanks Jenni!

My day had been so crappy, I decided to soothe myself with a nice Venti size White Mocha Latte from the drive through Starbucks. I gave my order to Suzie whose upbeat, smiley voice made me wonder if she had ever had to deal with a broken garage door, although I'm pretty sure she might have lost a key or two. As I pulled up to the window, I reached into the pile of junk in the passenger seat and immediately grabbed my wallet. Wow, first try. Things are looking up! Opened the wallet to pull out my debit card, only to see it wasn't there. REALLY?!?!?! Hi Suzie. Here's my credit card. Please charge my calorie laden chocolate drink to my credit card so that my husband can raise his eyebrow when he sees the statement. Deep breath.

I came home after work to a dark, quiet house. Troy was asleep because he had a night job. I decided to relax with some computer time until I needed to wake him at 9:00. Tempting fate one more time, I opened the checking account web page to find I had miscalculated and we were about $5 away from notta! What A Day!

And through all this God is so good! Troy awoke at 9:00 and we sat in the bed for about an hour talking about my horrible, no good, very bad day. He had come home from work early, took care of the suffering dogs locked inside the house, had extra keys copied for the doors, found my car key and debit card in a basket on the kitchen table, and only sighed once when I told him about my miscalculation with the checking account. Thank you God for my amazing husband!

Yesterday was God's creation. Yesterday was a kick in the pants. I was made very aware of the fact that I had let things slip through the cracks during the holidays. I need to put on my big girl panties and get organized again. That is if I can FIND my big girl panties. We are cash poor right now because we are planning for the future. I need to tighten the financial belt one more notch by lowering the grocery budget and using up the supplies in the bulging pantry and freezer. Yesterday was also a "come-here-poor-baby-girl" hug as God reminded me again how blessed I am to have a husband that sees every one of my scatter-brained, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants tendencies and loves me in spite of them.

Yesterday was a day the Lord had made. I now rejoice and am glad it's over. ;)

We Are The Champions, My Friends!

And we'll keep on fighting to the end....

We are the champions,
We are the champions,
No time for losers,
Cause we are the champions....
OF THE SCALE!

Yes, my friends, I have lost the 10 pounds of Christmas weight plus two more!
And I'm not too proud to say I did the Nudie Patootie Champion Dance in front of the bathroom mirror.

Okay, you can now erase that mental image.

Starting Again....Tomorrow

My white-knuckled hands are on the wheel. The winter wonderland all around me glistens in the morning sun. But my eyes are focused on the snow packed road in front of me. I haven't left my driveway and I'm seriously considering staying in the familiar safety of my home. My destination is a reward I've been looking forward to for many, many years. Can I do it? If I slide off the road, will I be able to get back on it and continue my journey? Will an obstacle be in my way that I cannot manuever around without damage?

Many times I've felt these feelings when driving after it's snowing or has recently snowed in Colorado. However, this is also the feeling I have about continuing my weight loss journey. My destination is the reward of being healthy, slim, and physically able to do so many things I cannot do now. But the journey is riddled with obstacles that have stopped me before.

I actually started this journey on August 24, 2010. The day after my birthday. I was really tired of my lifestyle. So, I looked back on the last few years at my weight loss attempts and picked the one that most success. It was the Fat Smash Diet by Dr. Ian Smith. (The doctor from that VH-1 reality show where washed up celebrities try to loose weight.) I had followed this plan about 3 years before and lost more than 30 lbs. Since that time I had gained 40+ pounds back. But I digress.

On August 24th, I started following the diet as regimented in the book. By December 1, I had lost 31 pounds! Very proud of me! I could get into jeans that were two sizes smaller. I was exercising 5 times a week. Feeling much better. I had already decided that Christmas time was going to be a break from the regulations of the diet. I wasn't going to worry about what I ate and exercise would happen only if I wanted to get up and do it. Here I am 10 pounds heavier. I'm a little down about that, but at least I don't weigh what I weighed on August 24th PLUS 10 pounds!

Tomorrow I continue my journey. This is the l-o-n-g journey. No Christmas break four months in. My goal is to stay faithful until September 15th, taking only a day each month to binge. It's a long journey, but the destination is so worth it. I'm a little scared, white-knuckled, and really anxious. But I'm also excited about getting back into the routine and experiencing the results of hard work.

So, here I go ........