My first memory of my dad is sitting next to him (without a seatbelt) in an old farm truck solving basic math problems he was asking me. I remember looking at his hands on the steering wheel and stick shift. I also remember thinking it would be cool to be married to someone like him someday. (And just to make Freud happy, I remember thinking, "If I sit up really tall and act older, maybe people will think I'm his wife and not his daughter.") Oh the thoughts of a six year old.
Tomorrow, my dad goes under the care of a heart specialist. He is getting his heartbeat shocked back into rhythm. I'm so happy that when it's all over, he will feel much better than he has the past few months. His irregular heartbeat and medicine to prevent a blood clot has made him feel much older than his 61 years. But I've been informed that they have to stop my dad's heart before shocking it.
That unnerves me a little.
Does the surgeon in charge of this procedure understand who Ronnie Benefield is? That he's the brother his 11 siblings go to in time of need? That he's the high school sweetheart and true love of my mother for over 40 years? That he's the man I trusted to be there even when I didn't act like I cared? That I need him to hug and kiss me when he arrives for a visit and before he leaves to return home?
Do they know?
God knows.... God knows... God knows.
1 comment:
Yes, HE knows, dear one. HE also knows what a big deal this is. I will pray for ya'll. My dad's name was Ron (Ronnie to family). One of my sons has the middle name of Ronald. Love the name. (And, yes, heart medicines can make you feel old indeed.)
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