Summer of '69

It was a great summer, the summer of 1969. In July, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were the first humans to walk on the moon. In August, three days of peace, love, and rock-n-roll happened in upstate New York.

And I was born!

This year, I was reminded over and over again that I was about to reach a milestone. Forty! The news did story after story about the fortieth anniversary of the moon landing and Woodstock.

Today is my fortieth birthday. I look back and think that when I was in fifth grade, my math teacher was forty-two. I thought that was ancient! So I am now officially ancient to all fifth graders everywhere. This honestly doesn't bother me.

This year, my birthday celebration happened in waves. We got my birthday presents, two three year old border collie mix dogs from the local shelter on August 1. I started working part time (which was a gift in an of itself) on August 10. And my parents flew in to surprise me on Saturday for a weekend celebration. It was great! If this is what happens when you turn 40, I'd gladly do it again!

Here are a couple of pictures of my presents and celebration:

Please Don't Judge a Book by its Movie!

I saw the movie "The Time Traveler's Wife" yesterday. I read the book last fall and raved about it to anyone that would listen. I saw the movie with trepidation, concerned that it was impossible to moosh 30 something years of time (and time travel) into a two hour movie.

I was right. It was impossible. I liked the movie, but only as one who had played out the book already in her mind could. I was like a proud mom watching the production of a school play. Not because she enjoyed the play, but because she knows the back stories: the time and effort the teacher in charge invested, the nervousness of her child as he walks onto the stage, the preparation of the costume. I watched the slivers of time in Henry and Claire's life on the screen wondering how anyone who hadn't read the book could understand each gut wrenching scene this reel of celluloid was trying to depict. I hurt for those who couldn't enjoy the movie as I did. And I hope that those to whom I've recommended this book will read it before they see the movie or they may never trust my recommendations again.

Faith.....

What is it?

Hebrews 11:1 says (in my New Living Translation) "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see."

I've lived most of my life as a people pleaser. (Stay with me here. I promise I'm not on a tangent.) God recently told me to read Galations. So, I've started reading Galations. Immediately, I was drawn to Paul's statement in verse 10 of chapter 1. He writes, "Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God." This left me invigorated, but perplexed. I've been trying to please God by doing the things I think He wants me to do. But I always feel like there's more and I can't possibly do enough....so I give up. I stop talking to Him, I stop reading His word, I stop thinking about Him.

Then my gracious God led me to these verses in chapter 2, verse 19 and the first part of verse 20. "For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God's approval. So I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me...."

There is no earning of God's approval. The only one who could do that seemingly impossible job is Christ. He has already done it for me so that I could reap the benefit of the approval of the author and creator of the universe.

It's a concept I can't wholly wrap my mind around. But, for me, today, in this very moment, faith is knowing that because Christ paid the price from my sin, I have God's approval through no work of my own.

This!

My last post asked, "What now?"

My house said, "This!"

I had put housework on hold for the last....month! I did what I had to do to get by (laundry, dishes) but not much else. In fact, to be honest, nothing else. So today "THIS" consisted of laundry, dishes, clipping and filing coupons, cleaning out my purse (no small feat, let me tell you!), cleaning all four bathrooms, straightening the house, dusting, and running errands. I still have dinner to cook.

I know most of you are now opening the case of your imaginary violin, but I had let everything go for soooo long. I know "This" won't take me all day after I make some progress toward having a clean home, but today I'm a little overwhelmed.

I think I'm still in the mode of thinking, "I've got to get this all done today because tomorrow I won't have time." I've got time. So now my mantra should be, "Slow down, rapidly beating heart. Calm down, acids in the stomach. Time is no longer the enemy. Breathe!"

What now?

I've been wanting to write about the exciting thing happening in my life for quite some time. But I wasn't sure when it would happen. I also wanted details to be worked out before I really let it all out.

I've quit my job.

Yes, people, I quit my job.

Don't get me wrong. I love Sylvan. I love the people I work with. But I didn't love feeling that I was letting my husband down on one side, and my job responsibilities down on the other. I felt as if I were trying to juggle everything and I'm not a good juggler. Heck, I'm NOT a juggler. Multi-tasking is not my strong suit.

I've been feeling pulled in two different directions for a few months. I knew I was not being the wife or the employee God wanted me to be, or I wanted to be. When I was at home, I was thinking about work. When I was at work, I was concerned about home. I know many, many women (and men) deal with this all day, every day. I couldn't do it anymore.

My gracious boss understood and never once made me feel guilty about this decision. In fact, because it was in God's devine providence, it was what our center needed. I was able to move into a part time teaching position vacated by one of our best teachers.

God inspired wise men to write in Proverbs, "Don't weary yourself trying to get rich. Why waste your time?" That verse jumped out at me the end of June as we were studying it in Sunday School class. I realized time was going by at a frantic pace and I was willing it to go faster just to end the day, week, month, season so that I could start to relax. I was wasting time by wearying myself to "get rich" or feel comfortable. Really? That was comfortable?

I know the grass is always greener, but I know this is what God has determined for me for this moment in my life. Even as I'm only about three hours past cleaning out my office, I realize I'm looking forward to the next week with delight and not dread, with anticipation, not anxiety. I'm ready to discover what God has planned for me now. I'm ready to see how He provides all my needs when I put all my trust in Him and not in my paycheck. I'm ready to be the wife Troy desires. And I'm ready to feel whole again.