"Hurry up, Steph."
"You're lagging behind again."
"Keep up!"
"Faster, Stephanie, faster."
You've just read the soundtrack of my life. I was always the one lagging behind. I don't know why, really. Maybe because I don't care if I'm last. Too much pressure if you are always first. Someone may take first place away and then where would you be? I'd rather be last than second. :) No pressure in last place.
So, why am I pondering my slowness? Because it has caused me some grief as of late. I started Weight Watchers in January with the optimistic goal of losing an average of two pounds a week. I was a strict, will-power driven dieting machine. I lost that average of two pounds a week over the course of about six months and then the weight loss slowed to a crawl. Instead of losing pounds, I was losing motivation. My will-power was fading as the scale grudgingly gave up tenths of a pound each week.
During the past week, I've done some major soul searching. And praying. God pointed out that I had let the enemy tempt me into thinking I was doing all this in my own strength. Of course as soon as the enemy had convinced me of that, he also reminded me of all the times I had failed. Why would this time be any different? The Accuser had built his case, set his trap, was getting ready to lure me back into an unhealthy lifestyle. God reminded me that the initial reason I had finally decided to live healthier was in obedience to Him. So, if I was continuing this healthy lifestyle, I was still being obedient no matter what the scale said. He also reminded me that I am a unique individual that withers under self-induced pressure, but flourishes when I am allowed to just move at my own pace, slow and steady.
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