Contentment. I have a love/hate relationship with that word. It's been a life-long struggle. At 3 years old, I distinctly remember seeing the tiny sibling bundle presented to me and thinking, "I didn't want that. I like being the sole object of your parental affection." And then another sibling came along 15 months later. And my parents did not name her my clearly superior name of Liza Jane.
I remember at the age of 6, staring down the dirt road in front of our house. My mind was abuzz with the possibilities of traveling all the way down that road until I found pavement and then taking that "Yellow Brick Road" wherever it led. This feeling of wunderlust followed me through college (even after I knew where the black top ended.)
Unfortunately, as a child, I didn't fully appreciate the sibling relationships. My brother and sister were good friends to each other. I was just the "older sister". I didn't cherish those years growing up in a home where I felt loved, protected, and encouraged to follow that dirt road because I was always looking for the next thing.
I fear that I'm doing the same thing now. God has blessed me with a husband who respects, loves, and adores me. I live in a house much too big for two people. I work outside this home only as much as I want to. I have family members who tell everyone about their daughter/sister/grandaughter/neice who lives "like a princess" in a huge house in Colorado.
And what am I doing tonight?
Sulking. Because we don't have extra money to totally remodel and redecorate our house. Pouting. Because Troy is not interested in going to an art class with me. Frowning. Because I watched a program about Disney World and have never visited the happiest place on earth. Sighing. Because I have dishes downstairs that are only going to clean themselves if I put them on the racks of the dishwasher.
Feeling Disgusted at Myself. Because God keeps pouring out his blessings on me and I keep saying, "Got anything better?"
Contentment. Love the possibility, hate the reality.
Thanks for listening. Check's in the mail. :)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
That's Smart
The website just read, "Congratulations, Stephanie! You are now following Life On Prescott Avenue." Really? I was trying to follow "Patti's Corner". And by the way, Life on Prescott Avenue is MY blog! How did I request to follow my own blog? Well, that's smart!
Here are some other "smart" things I've done recently:
-I opened the drawer and threw the potholder inside....THE FREEZER DRAWER! Found it the next morning....very cold. Hmmm, maybe that's where I should store the whole potholder family?
-I backed out of the garage on my way to work, realized I forgot my travel cup on the entertainment center, pulled back into the garage, went inside, retrieved the drink, back outside, realized my hands were so dry they were hurting as I opened the car door, went back inside to grab the hand lotion, back to the car, sit down, "Where is my drink?", back inside, pick up the drink from the end table where my lotion was sitting, back outside. Finally, off to work...where is my phone?...too late to look for it...thought I had it in my hand when I first sat down..(found my phone later in the cup holder, next to my travel mug)....really?
-My cell phone is our main phone, so when listing a main number, I list my cell number. A while ago, someone called to talk to Troy, instead of saying the usual, "Okay, sure, let me get him." I said, "Sure, may I put you on hold?" What was that all about? I haven't had to say that line in over a year. I started laughing and said, "I mean...hold on, I'll get him."
Here are some other "smart" things I've done recently:
-I opened the drawer and threw the potholder inside....THE FREEZER DRAWER! Found it the next morning....very cold. Hmmm, maybe that's where I should store the whole potholder family?
-I backed out of the garage on my way to work, realized I forgot my travel cup on the entertainment center, pulled back into the garage, went inside, retrieved the drink, back outside, realized my hands were so dry they were hurting as I opened the car door, went back inside to grab the hand lotion, back to the car, sit down, "Where is my drink?", back inside, pick up the drink from the end table where my lotion was sitting, back outside. Finally, off to work...where is my phone?...too late to look for it...thought I had it in my hand when I first sat down..(found my phone later in the cup holder, next to my travel mug)....really?
-My cell phone is our main phone, so when listing a main number, I list my cell number. A while ago, someone called to talk to Troy, instead of saying the usual, "Okay, sure, let me get him." I said, "Sure, may I put you on hold?" What was that all about? I haven't had to say that line in over a year. I started laughing and said, "I mean...hold on, I'll get him."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Gift of the Holy Spirit
My sister-in-law, Robin, gives great gifts. For Christmas, tucked into the package of goodies was this:
It's a squishy, pink, bundle of tactile delight. And when squeezed or shaken, it lights up with flashing red and blue lights! I played with it for a LONG time. (Much longer than is proper for a 41 year old living outside the confines of a padded room.) Finally at the end of the night, I put it on the mantle right next to the Nativity set. Troy saw it's placement and gave me a weird eyebrow-lifted look. I picked up the toy, shook it to make it glimmer, laid it back on the shelf and said, "It's the Holy Spirit."
The Christmas decorations, along with the nativity set, have all been packed away until next year. The "Holy Spirit" ball found a permanent home in my office. Every moment I'm in my office, I feel drawn to this toy. I squeeze it, pass it back and forth from right to left hands, and enjoy the sensory experience as I have my morning laptop routine. It's calming.
I still call it the Holy Spirit Ball. I don't mean this with any irreverence. In fact, it's made me think a lot about the gift of the Holy Spirit and what He means to me. I've always been intrigued with this Spirit of God living inside me since I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I often take God's Spirit for granted and go about my daily life. But recently, I have been very aware of His presence.
December 30, 2010, Troy and I attended the memorial service of Robb Williford. Robb was the husband of my friend, Tricia. Robb was only 35 years old when he died tragically, two days before Christmas. But in that short 35 years, the Holy Spirit shined in his life. His memorial service was a testament to his character as a devoted father, loving husband, loyal employee, honorable son, and most of all, an amazing Christian man. As his family, friends, and young widow spoke about him, the Holy Spirit draped both Troy and me in a blanket of comfort and inspiration. As the service ended, the Spirit used this mountain-top opportunity to begin a new work in me.
Instead of eager anticipation for the new year, I tend to dread the idea of making resolutions and failing to follow through. This year, I am praying to reacquaint myself with and learn to display this supernatural Spirit within me. And with His influence, there is no failure, only huge learning curves.
I pray that I never take this gift God has given me for granted. I pray that I always rely on this indwelling Spirit to guide me through the day to day obstacles of this sinful world. And I pray that when the pressures of life squeeze and shake me that I allow the Spirit to glimmer and shine through.
It's a squishy, pink, bundle of tactile delight. And when squeezed or shaken, it lights up with flashing red and blue lights! I played with it for a LONG time. (Much longer than is proper for a 41 year old living outside the confines of a padded room.) Finally at the end of the night, I put it on the mantle right next to the Nativity set. Troy saw it's placement and gave me a weird eyebrow-lifted look. I picked up the toy, shook it to make it glimmer, laid it back on the shelf and said, "It's the Holy Spirit."
The Christmas decorations, along with the nativity set, have all been packed away until next year. The "Holy Spirit" ball found a permanent home in my office. Every moment I'm in my office, I feel drawn to this toy. I squeeze it, pass it back and forth from right to left hands, and enjoy the sensory experience as I have my morning laptop routine. It's calming.
I still call it the Holy Spirit Ball. I don't mean this with any irreverence. In fact, it's made me think a lot about the gift of the Holy Spirit and what He means to me. I've always been intrigued with this Spirit of God living inside me since I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I often take God's Spirit for granted and go about my daily life. But recently, I have been very aware of His presence.
December 30, 2010, Troy and I attended the memorial service of Robb Williford. Robb was the husband of my friend, Tricia. Robb was only 35 years old when he died tragically, two days before Christmas. But in that short 35 years, the Holy Spirit shined in his life. His memorial service was a testament to his character as a devoted father, loving husband, loyal employee, honorable son, and most of all, an amazing Christian man. As his family, friends, and young widow spoke about him, the Holy Spirit draped both Troy and me in a blanket of comfort and inspiration. As the service ended, the Spirit used this mountain-top opportunity to begin a new work in me.
Instead of eager anticipation for the new year, I tend to dread the idea of making resolutions and failing to follow through. This year, I am praying to reacquaint myself with and learn to display this supernatural Spirit within me. And with His influence, there is no failure, only huge learning curves.
I pray that I never take this gift God has given me for granted. I pray that I always rely on this indwelling Spirit to guide me through the day to day obstacles of this sinful world. And I pray that when the pressures of life squeeze and shake me that I allow the Spirit to glimmer and shine through.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)