Loved On

My five senses are on overload.  Actually, my sixth sense (if that's the one that feels God's presence) is working at high speed too. 

I've peeled and cored enough apples to fill two crock pots in anticipation of applesauce in about 8 hours.  I can still smell their harvest sweetness on my hands. 

A lit candle, so sweetly given to me by a friend, is filling the house with an aroma that fills my thoughts with all things autumn.

I sit in the curve of our bay window as I admire the way the sunlight filtering through the pine needles of the majestic tree in the front yard casts a soft light on the living room floor.

The dogs have had their morning meal and some backyard time.  They are sprawled across the couch to catch some morning z's.

I am listening to a book that reminds me to praise and give thanks to God who is more than worthy of thanks and all praise.

I'm in awe that the all powerful, all knowing, all seeing Creator is loving on me today.  Not just loving me, as He does every moment of every day.  But He's loving ON me.  I feel it.  And I can't help but love Him back.

I'm Fine, Really

In addition to cleaning house today (on this, my normal cleaning day).  I also moved everything out of the dining room.  Then I washed chair covers and drapes. And washed windows and walls.  AND scrubbed baseboards.  AND DID PAINT TOUCH UP. 

Before you call the men with the white jackets to take me away, please note that I'm getting some deep cleaning done before holiday entertaining begins.  And most importantly, I'm trying to work off that Stupid Halloween Candy before weigh in tomorrow.

Must keep moving.  Must keep moving.

Crying in the Shower

It was all crashing in on me. 

Yes, I said I would do this.  Yes, I said I would do that. 

They didn't seem overwhelming at the time.  Each.  Separately.  

But This + That +  Weariness = A Good Cry in the Shower.

That's what happened Sunday morning.  And I really needed it.

I plugged in the night light, turned off the glaring overhead lights, and ran the warm-almost-too-hot shower.   The steam-filled semi-lit room, the stinging heat of the water on my skin, and the release of pent up tears calmed my nerves.  The concoction was a healing balm for my raw emotional state.

As I leaned forward against the shower wall, face in hands, water streaming down my head and my back, I started praying, "I don't know if I can do this.  God, did you really call me to this position as a pastor's wife?  You know I get so overwhelmed so easily.  Why did you do this to me?" 

I cried....

I cried silently until the lump formed in my throat that urged me to sob.  Loudly.  But I didn't. 

I thought about all the patriarchs and matriarchs in the bible who stepped out of their comfort zone.  They not only stepped, they LEAPED!  I thought about the prophets who were asked to do so much by God.  And they did it. 

I thought about Troy in the next room, studying for the Sunday School lesson he was going to be teaching for two hours straight.  I thought of all the pressure he had been under lately with his present job and the preparation for this new position.  I thought about the fact that he was doing all this while also taking a seminary class.  I thought about his supernatural ability to find patience and understanding for me during this crazy transitional time.

I thought about the bible verse, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." 

And then God spoke to my heart, "All done?" 

And I said, "Yep."

Several minutes later, I stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in terry cloth softness and prayed, "Let's do this thing."