I happened upon this poem tonight. I cannot find an author, so if you know who wrote it, please comment. I needed to read/hear this....
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say, wait?!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked and I'm claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hang in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
Oh, Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry;
I'm weary of asking. I need a reply!"
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, 'I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun;
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you will be;
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You would not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You would not know the power that I give to the faint.
You would not learn to see through the clouds of despair.
You would not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You would not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
Sure, you'd known that I give and I save...(for a start),
But you would not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God Who makes what you have last...
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for yourself overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious reply is still, "Child, you must wait!"
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
No Rest For the Weary
What a day it turned out to be!
Troy had an appointment in downtown Denver with a sleep apnea specialist at 9:30am. I insisted on going along so that I could be fully informed about Troy's apparent sleep apnea. I also wanted to know exactly how the sleep mask (or apap) worked. We arrived WAY too early after allowing time for heavy traffic. So we waited, and waited, and waited.
Finally, the doctor informed us that Troy was having an average of 31 apnea episodes per hour. That means that his body and brain are basically waking up every two minutes because he's not breathing. Really?!?! Poor guy! So, we are now proud owners of an apap machine. The technician who taught us how to use and care for the new equipment said that this particular machine was a brand new, sleek version. "The Ferrari of the apap world," he said. And honestly, it's not horrible looking.
We spent the rest of the early afternoon having lunch at a favorite Chinese restaurant, browsing a Christian used book store, and having a cookie at a local bakery before returning home.
We arrived home at about 3:00pm because we were anticipating a delivery of a half ton of river cobble at about 4:00pm. Yes, a half ton. I wondered why Troy had ordered this amount. What were we going to do with 1000 pounds of 4 to 8 inch large rocks? I knew we needed to cover an area next to our patio with them, but that area was only about 5 feet long and 4 feet wide. It wouldn't take a half ton of rocks to do that. But Troy had plans for other parts of the yard.
Well, the half ton arrived. And this was it.....
Wow, a thousand pounds of rock seemed much more ominous than the little, dinky pile sitting in our drive way. This was a half ton? This? The young, very polite delivery guy told us that he was there when they weighed this load and he was a surprised at how little it was. We were disappointed and still feel that maybe we were taken advantage of, but we have no way of proving it. So, in the steady rain of the afternoon, we hauled 6 wheelbarrow loads of rock to the back yard and strategically placed them in the area next to the patio. A half ton of rock did not fill the 5x4 foot area, but we did the best we could and it does look rather nice. And it keeps a certain dog, whose initials are Leia, from digging in the dirt!
And the day wasn't over yet, no it wasn't.
Welcome to the first night of Troy versus The Machine! We "went to bed by day", as Robert Louis Stevenson so aptly expressed. It was only 8:15pm when we made our way upstairs. We normally will read a little before turning off the light, so it was about 8:45pm when round one began.
Troy is a trooper and started the night with high hopes of getting at least a little more sleep than before. I, on the other hand, remembered the technician saying that the body will reject the mask with a vengeance, much like an untrained horse with a saddle. I expected it to be a long, sleepless night. The technician told Troy to put the mask on every night but cautioned him to listen to his body. When the body said, "No more," the technician encouraged Troy to turn off the machine, remove the mask, and try again the next night.
8:45pm- While in a sitting position, Troy put the mask on and adjusted it so that it was comfortable.
8:50pm- After laying on his back, Troy adjusted the mask several more times.
9:30pm- More adjustment.
10:00pm- More adjustment. (loud velcro adjustable straps)
12:15am- Body said, "No More!" Mask off.
1:30am- Troy thought, "I can do this!" Mask on.
2:45am- Body enlisted help of anxious brain and said in unison, "We said, 'NO!'"...Mask off, Troy anxious and frustrated.
5:00am- Alarm.
Today, we are both feeling like a half ton of river cobble...heavy with sleeplessness and not adequate to do the task ahead of us.
Troy had an appointment in downtown Denver with a sleep apnea specialist at 9:30am. I insisted on going along so that I could be fully informed about Troy's apparent sleep apnea. I also wanted to know exactly how the sleep mask (or apap) worked. We arrived WAY too early after allowing time for heavy traffic. So we waited, and waited, and waited.
Finally, the doctor informed us that Troy was having an average of 31 apnea episodes per hour. That means that his body and brain are basically waking up every two minutes because he's not breathing. Really?!?! Poor guy! So, we are now proud owners of an apap machine. The technician who taught us how to use and care for the new equipment said that this particular machine was a brand new, sleek version. "The Ferrari of the apap world," he said. And honestly, it's not horrible looking.
We spent the rest of the early afternoon having lunch at a favorite Chinese restaurant, browsing a Christian used book store, and having a cookie at a local bakery before returning home.
We arrived home at about 3:00pm because we were anticipating a delivery of a half ton of river cobble at about 4:00pm. Yes, a half ton. I wondered why Troy had ordered this amount. What were we going to do with 1000 pounds of 4 to 8 inch large rocks? I knew we needed to cover an area next to our patio with them, but that area was only about 5 feet long and 4 feet wide. It wouldn't take a half ton of rocks to do that. But Troy had plans for other parts of the yard.
Well, the half ton arrived. And this was it.....
Wow, a thousand pounds of rock seemed much more ominous than the little, dinky pile sitting in our drive way. This was a half ton? This? The young, very polite delivery guy told us that he was there when they weighed this load and he was a surprised at how little it was. We were disappointed and still feel that maybe we were taken advantage of, but we have no way of proving it. So, in the steady rain of the afternoon, we hauled 6 wheelbarrow loads of rock to the back yard and strategically placed them in the area next to the patio. A half ton of rock did not fill the 5x4 foot area, but we did the best we could and it does look rather nice. And it keeps a certain dog, whose initials are Leia, from digging in the dirt!
And the day wasn't over yet, no it wasn't.
Welcome to the first night of Troy versus The Machine! We "went to bed by day", as Robert Louis Stevenson so aptly expressed. It was only 8:15pm when we made our way upstairs. We normally will read a little before turning off the light, so it was about 8:45pm when round one began.
Troy is a trooper and started the night with high hopes of getting at least a little more sleep than before. I, on the other hand, remembered the technician saying that the body will reject the mask with a vengeance, much like an untrained horse with a saddle. I expected it to be a long, sleepless night. The technician told Troy to put the mask on every night but cautioned him to listen to his body. When the body said, "No more," the technician encouraged Troy to turn off the machine, remove the mask, and try again the next night.
8:45pm- While in a sitting position, Troy put the mask on and adjusted it so that it was comfortable.
8:50pm- After laying on his back, Troy adjusted the mask several more times.
9:30pm- More adjustment.
10:00pm- More adjustment. (loud velcro adjustable straps)
12:15am- Body said, "No More!" Mask off.
1:30am- Troy thought, "I can do this!" Mask on.
2:45am- Body enlisted help of anxious brain and said in unison, "We said, 'NO!'"...Mask off, Troy anxious and frustrated.
5:00am- Alarm.
Today, we are both feeling like a half ton of river cobble...heavy with sleeplessness and not adequate to do the task ahead of us.
Monday, May 21, 2012
The Great Ploy
“Oh, this was the great ploy of Satan in that kingdom of his: to display such blatant evil one could almost believe one's own secret sin didn't matter.”
Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place
Still is...
Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place
Still is...
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Still Working
I stepped on the scale last night at the Weight Watchers meeting fully prepared to celebrate. I knew I had lost weight. I suspected I had lost several pounds. I was right. I broke through that 300 pound mark with flying colors. APPLAUSE!!!!
I actually now weigh 295 pounds. I know this may seem like a gigantic amount of weight to some reading this post. But at this point in my journey, 295 pounds sounds almost as good as 128 pounds. Really! Note that I said, "Almost as good." I feel energized, like ever nerve in my body is chanting, "Good Job. Good Job. Good Job."
Although I'm so proud of this accomplishment, I know that God is working on me inside and out as I move from day to day, one step at a time along this journey. All praise goes to Him and Him alone.
Music and singing is my favorite form of worship. When I sing to or about God I often find myself smiling from ear to ear or crying because my heart is overwhelmed with emotion. On any given morning, I wake up with a song in my head. This morning the song running through my head was He' Still Working On Me, a children's song I taught in vacation bible school. The lyrics are as follows: (sing along if you know it)
I actually now weigh 295 pounds. I know this may seem like a gigantic amount of weight to some reading this post. But at this point in my journey, 295 pounds sounds almost as good as 128 pounds. Really! Note that I said, "Almost as good." I feel energized, like ever nerve in my body is chanting, "Good Job. Good Job. Good Job."
Although I'm so proud of this accomplishment, I know that God is working on me inside and out as I move from day to day, one step at a time along this journey. All praise goes to Him and Him alone.
Music and singing is my favorite form of worship. When I sing to or about God I often find myself smiling from ear to ear or crying because my heart is overwhelmed with emotion. On any given morning, I wake up with a song in my head. This morning the song running through my head was He' Still Working On Me, a children's song I taught in vacation bible school. The lyrics are as follows: (sing along if you know it)
He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
Sun and Earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be.
He's still working on me.
There really ought be a sign upon my heart.
"Don't judge me yet, there's an unfinished part."
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hand.
In the mirror of His word, reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am, and helps me when I pray.
Remember He's the potter, I'm the clay.
He's still working on meHe IS still working on me to make me what I ought to be. I love that He never gives up on me. I have confidence that He never will.
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
Sun and Earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be.
He's still working on me.
"Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 (ASV)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Pass the Pigs
No, this is not a post about my dieting endeavors...although that's a clever title.
"Pass the Pigs" is a phrase that I have never heard in my entire life. But apparently, it's popular enough to make the list of the game Catch Phrase. I looked it up online and found that "pass the pigs" is a game played with dice shaped pigs. So there you have it.
Really, did you think I would end there?
Troy and I have new neighbors across the street. They are a very young couple with an adorable nine month old baby girl. Their names are Clayton, Brianna, and little Aurora. We met them the day they moved in and they have quickly made their way onto our list of favorite people.
Last night, we were invited to their house for dinner. (Brianna even added up all the Weight Watcher points and texted me the total so that I could plan accordingly! See why she's made the list?) After a wonderful dinner with delightful conversation, we decided to play Catch Phrase before dessert. Girls against Guys.
It never fails. The team I'm NOT on gets phrases like "light switch" while my team is handed "a farewell to arms" to guess. So, it was Brianna's turn to give clues while I tried to guess the phrase on the electronic game in her hands. She gave great clues which led me to say "pass the pigs" ?????????
"Yes!" she shouted before handing the game to Clayton. We both looked at each other as I mouthed, "Pass the pigs?" and she lifted her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders.
It was one of those priceless, funny moments that you wish could be captured on film. Since I wasn't filming the game, I decided to capture it in a blog post. I know that in years to come I will read this post and smile, remembering those sweet moments of budding friendships.
"Pass the Pigs" is a phrase that I have never heard in my entire life. But apparently, it's popular enough to make the list of the game Catch Phrase. I looked it up online and found that "pass the pigs" is a game played with dice shaped pigs. So there you have it.
Really, did you think I would end there?
Troy and I have new neighbors across the street. They are a very young couple with an adorable nine month old baby girl. Their names are Clayton, Brianna, and little Aurora. We met them the day they moved in and they have quickly made their way onto our list of favorite people.
Last night, we were invited to their house for dinner. (Brianna even added up all the Weight Watcher points and texted me the total so that I could plan accordingly! See why she's made the list?) After a wonderful dinner with delightful conversation, we decided to play Catch Phrase before dessert. Girls against Guys.
It never fails. The team I'm NOT on gets phrases like "light switch" while my team is handed "a farewell to arms" to guess. So, it was Brianna's turn to give clues while I tried to guess the phrase on the electronic game in her hands. She gave great clues which led me to say "pass the pigs" ?????????
"Yes!" she shouted before handing the game to Clayton. We both looked at each other as I mouthed, "Pass the pigs?" and she lifted her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders.
It was one of those priceless, funny moments that you wish could be captured on film. Since I wasn't filming the game, I decided to capture it in a blog post. I know that in years to come I will read this post and smile, remembering those sweet moments of budding friendships.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Almost There
I heard a comedian, I think it might have been Jerry Seinfeld, say that he loves being "next in line". The anticipation is wonderful. "In fact," he stated, "Sometimes when it's my turn, I'll let the person behind me go ahead just so I can continue to be 'next in line'!"
I don't feel like that at all right now. I am two pounds away from my first major goal...which is to be below 300 lbs. Yes. Yes, I just now told you how much I weigh. You read it right. Basically, I got over the whole "not-telling-anyone-how-much-gravitational-pull-the-earth-has-on-my-body" a while ago. I figure anyone with eyes can see that I weigh more than 120 lbs. So, why keep it a secret. And that number doesn't define who I am. But that number DOES represent my life-long battle with weight. Mostly, it represents my failures.
I worked HARD last week. I am not going to repeat those failures! I pushed through cravings and hunger and laziness. I did a lot of self talk and a lot of God talk. I played a lot of Hungry Games. When I stepped on the scale last night, I was confident I had lost weight. And I was thrilled to see I had lost 5.2 pounds! So, so proud of me!
I'm so close to the first major goal. I can see it, I can feel it. I'm almost there!
I don't feel like that at all right now. I am two pounds away from my first major goal...which is to be below 300 lbs. Yes. Yes, I just now told you how much I weigh. You read it right. Basically, I got over the whole "not-telling-anyone-how-much-gravitational-pull-the-earth-has-on-my-body" a while ago. I figure anyone with eyes can see that I weigh more than 120 lbs. So, why keep it a secret. And that number doesn't define who I am. But that number DOES represent my life-long battle with weight. Mostly, it represents my failures.
I worked HARD last week. I am not going to repeat those failures! I pushed through cravings and hunger and laziness. I did a lot of self talk and a lot of God talk. I played a lot of Hungry Games. When I stepped on the scale last night, I was confident I had lost weight. And I was thrilled to see I had lost 5.2 pounds! So, so proud of me!
I'm so close to the first major goal. I can see it, I can feel it. I'm almost there!
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